I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
