We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
