She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
