i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
