Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
