It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
