wrigley field is MILF paradise
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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