i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
