i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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