There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
