yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
