Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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