I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Terrible idea I love it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
