community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
