the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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