If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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