I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
