A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
try to milk me bitch
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
