Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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