I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
