Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
