I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
