if you like me you must not know who I am
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
