so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
