then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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