I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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