who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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