Umm I'm too high to move.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
