Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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