Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
