sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
