have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
