i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
