By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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