Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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