i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
