From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
