I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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