and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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