hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize