Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
