Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
