hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
