Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize