I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
