okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
