you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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