I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
