You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
