Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
