Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
