New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
