3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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