This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
