don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Randomize
