But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
