If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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