You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
