Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
