We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
