Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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