Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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